Batman & Robin Movie Review

More jokes, more puns, more enemies, more neon lights and more suits. But can this two-hour-long toy commercial please the audience? 

Genre: Action / Comedy / Fantasy

Director: Joel Schumacher

Cast: George Clooney, Chris O’Donnell, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone, Jeep Swenson, John Glover, Elle Macpherson, Pat Hinge & Michael Gough

Run Time: 125 min.

US Release: 20 June 1997 

UK Release: 27 June 1997

German Release: 26 June 1997

Oh boy… Here we are, the review I always feared to write. Reaching the end of my Batman reviews, before the release of Suicide Squad, the last task I set for myself is to talk about this piece of cinematic garbage. In all honesty, as a child growing up, I was a fan of this comic book flick; then again, I would have watched anything with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Batman & Robin marks the end of the Schumacher-era and the last movie featuring bat-nipples and bat-butts. It was one of the worst-received movies of 1997 and killed the Batman film series for nearly a decade. So let’s take a closer look at Batman & Robin!

— WARNING! THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS! —

Batman/Bruce Wayne (Clooney) and Robin/Dick Grayson (O’Donnell) stop Mister Freeze (Schwarzenegger) from stealing a massive diamond, though the villain escapes in a rocket. It is then revealed that the villain became like that after a lab accident, plus he needs the diamonds to find a cure for his dying wife. Somewhere else, the evil Doctor Jason Woodrue is experimenting on a prisoner, turning him into Bane. His assistant, Pamela Ivy (Thurman), witnesses it all, and Woodrue tries to murder her, turning her into Poison Ivy.

Poison Ivy and Bane team up with Freeze, using pheromones to turn Robin against Batman. Alfred (Gough) falls terminally ill, with the same disease as Freeze’s wife. Barbara (Silverstone), Alfred’s niece, arrives, discovers the Batcave and turns herself into Batgirl.

Together, the trio fight the villains, but Freeze manages to turn the city into an ice-landscape. Batman shows Freeze video evidence of Ivy trying to kill his wife, ending the two’s partnership. Freeze gives Batman the cure, with the heroes saving the day. 

Filled with plot holes and inconsistencies, Akiva Goldsmith’s script has very thin substance, making little to no sense at all. It is as if the studio, writers and the director himself misunderstood the positive criticism of Forever and took everything that was disliked to be cranked up to eleven. 

The picture is overstuffed with characters, stupid jokes and action sequences, making it impossible for a coherent story to take place. The backstories of characters are mistreated or completely wrecked, while the suspension of disbelief has been ruined in the first couple of minutes. It also contains clear sexual remarks, raising the question of who this was marketed for, as it is even too crazy for little children.

Dialogues just exist in the form of puns, one-liners or as exposition that is dumped on the viewers to keep them on track of what is happening; since the plot itself is so poorly written and executed, one loses complete track. 

George Clooney was completely miscast as Bruce Wayne / Batman, and it is a miracle his career survived this bomb! He has no real charm as Bruce Wayne, while as the Dark Knight, he fails to capture the brooding, dark psychological weight that comes with the superhero. His relaxed demeanour and flamboyant smile did more harm than good. Apart from that, he also completely misunderstood the character, failing to give him emotional depth.

Chris O’Donnell returns as Dick Grayson / Robin, and he really drops the ball here. His performance in the previous instalment was already mediocre; however, it is nothing compared to his miserable performance in this flick. His depiction of Robin is immature, ungrateful and outright insulting to the man who gave him his home and made him his partner. Add to that the silly puns O'Donnell clearly took from Burt Ward, and you get an insufferable character. 

Another casting failure was Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr Freeze. The villain himself has a tragic backstory that turned him into a quiet, methodical thinker, giving him a chilling persona. Schwarzenegger played him as a walking, talking cartoon who blabbered out “ice-puns” every second line he had. 

Honestly, Uma Thurman, who played Dr Pamela Isley - a.k.a Poison Ivy, might have been the only one who fully embraced Schumacher’s campy vision, giving an unforgettable, seductive rendition. That said, the character is more complex than the one-dimensional sex symbol it is reduced to in this flick, for which Goldsman and the director are to blame. 

Alicia Silverstone, who was cast as Barbara Wilson / Batgirl, after her massive success in the comedy Clueless, was less of a miscast, though more of a screenplay misrepresentation of the character. Silverstone herself brought energy and charm to her character. Unfortunately, the writers completely butchered the character creatively, shoehorning her in at the last minute and giving her a copy-paste personality of Robin.  

As if the writing, performances and dialogue delivery aren’t bad enough, the camera work in Batman Forever is mostly equally abysmal. The bright neon colours are distracting and kill any sense of tension or, for that matter, any shadow, which Batman is the literal manifestation of. The screen is simply too crowded for the common eye, stuffing it with props and flashing lights. The camera angles are at times equally ridiculous, making use of a lot of unnecessary Dutch angles. That said, what it does well is capturing the essence of comic-book framing.  

While the production set is impressive, using practical props of giant statues and impressive modern-gothic architecture, the visual effects look unrealistic and right-out goofy. The biggest disrespect, however, was the addition of nipples to the rubber suits. 

Musically, Elliot Goldenthal builds on his Batman theme from Forever, creating a memorable overture for the hero. Equally, his soft, dramatic cues for Freeze are some of the more emotional ones, yet they do collide with the vastly different visual tone, just like the acting. As for sound effects, the silly, wacky cartoon sounds did not fit the more serious orchestral score by Goldenthal. 

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Verdict: Just when you thought you saw it all, there comes Schumacher’s sequel to his already mediocre, yet fun Batman Forever and doubles down on every error that was made in the previous iteration. The result is Batman & Robin, a monstrosity of mistakes made that actually killed DC’s detective big-screen career for a while. From the nonchalant care for the caped crusader’s comic background, the insultingly stupid puns plus cheesy one-liners, the horrible neon lighting and awkward camera angles, this superhero blockbuster is an assault to the eyes and ears. George Clooney, as well as Arnold Schwarzenegger, are completely miscast. Alicia Silverstone at least gives an enjoyable rendition with what she was given, and Thurmann fully embraces the camp. Batman & Robin is trash; it gets a 1.5 out of 10. 

Are you one of the defenders of this Batflick, or are you with me on this? Leave a comment below. And of you liked this review, don’t forget to share and leave a like! Thank you!